We usually spend slow Sunday nights pacing on the terrace, in the cool and teasing summer night breeze.
Once inside though, we end up arguing on many interesting things... One argument we had last Sunday:
Would we be happier if we could forget our pain ?
One of my friends[Lahens, the other being Lateehs] swears by this quote: The secret to happiness is a healthy body and a bad memory.
Me: Seems to make sense. If we cannot remember our pain, there is no reason for us to feel sad. It would last just for the one moment that the bad thing happened and the very next moment one would be happy again. Something like ignorance is bliss, though in a new context. (Being the eternal showoff I quoted Pope too):
Me: "How happy is the blameless vessal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;"
Explain, they said.
Me: I don't know really, I had heard that verse in a movie I had seen long back,'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' [PS: one of the best movies Ive seen till now].
[I tell them what happens in short].
Lovers who have fallen apart erase their memories of what happened and each other. The girl does it first;what exactly happens as the guy's memory is being erased is shown. He wants to keep a few happy memories he had of her. As each record of her is hunted down and killed, he remembers the old memories, the happy memories with her, but which will get erased too.
Me: So a point made, if you lose sad memories you will lose happy memories too. The same people who caused pain can have given you happiness too.
Argument from Lahens: Why erase memories of people ? Why not just incidents ?
Which I couldn't answer.
Lahens: Well, what happens finally ?
Me: The most interesting part was that the people who had undergone this procedure,ended up falling in love again with the very same people they had erased!Maybe it is the mystery of romantic love itself, inexplicable why we fall for the ones we do.Stuff like 'meant to be' or 'soul mates ' ?
Practical Lateehs: [Smiling] "Those who forget their past are doomed to re-live it".
Lahens: [Laughing] True. If you forget your mistakes you will repeat them. Falling for the wrong person too is a mistake isn't it ?
You learnt why he wasn't suited for you. If the memory, the lesson goes, you will have to learn it all over again.
So to answer my question, even if you erased just the bad incidents with him ,and kept the happy ones, you would wonder what went wrong ? Why aren't you with him now ?You would try again, and end up with the same bad experience !
Bottom line: If you forget your pain, you will be happy; but if you forget it you are doomed to re-live it, which will again make you sad.
Me: So what now? Things are perfect as they are now ? If we forget pain, we lose our chance to feel happiness too ? Happiness and sadness, both or none ?!
Lateehs: Hm...
Lahens: Seems perfect to me...
